Independence at school: learning to do it alone without being left alone

“Let them do it by themselves.”

We often hear this when people talk about independence. As if a child became independent simply because an adult stopped helping.

In reality, it is much more subtle.

An independent child is not a child who no longer needs adults. It is a child who is gradually learning to act, think, decide and solve problems with less and less help.

And that independence does not fall from the sky. It is built. Day after day. Sometimes through very small things: getting their materials ready, looking for a solution, asking for help at the right moment, checking their work or daring to start again after a mistake.

At school, these small steps can end up profoundly changing the way a child learns.

What is independence at school?

Being independent does not simply mean “managing on your own”. At school, independence can take many forms. A child can gradually learn to:

• get their materials ready;
• understand instructions;
• start a task without always waiting for the adult;
• organise the different stages of a piece of work;
• look for information;
• try several solutions;
• check their result;
• spot a mistake;
• ask for help when they really need it;
• gradually manage their time;
• explain what they are doing.

These are very concrete skills. And they are not only about schoolwork. They also prepare the child to gradually take charge of part of their own life.

Being independent does not mean being alone

This is probably the most important distinction. A child can be independent while still being supported.

Take an example. A child is stuck on a maths problem.

The adult can give them the answer straight away. The child finishes the exercise. But they have not learned to solve the problem.

Another option is to ask: “What do you already know?” Then: “What are you looking for?” Then perhaps: “Which method could you try?”

The adult is still there. But they are not doing the work for the child. They are helping the child build their own approach.

That is a fundamental difference. Supporting independence does not mean disappearing. It means gradually learning to step in differently.

Why do we sometimes do too much for children?

Because it is often quicker.

An adult can tidy the materials in thirty seconds. A child may take three minutes. An adult can explain the answer immediately. A child may take ten minutes to find it. An adult can correct a mistake directly. A child may need to search.

In a busy day, helping directly seems efficient. And in the short term, it is.

But if the adult always steps in before the child has had a chance to try, one consequence can appear: the child learns to wait for help. They may gradually take on board: “If I don’t know, someone will tell me what to do.”

Independence begins precisely when the child discovers: “I can try something before I ask.”

Independence starts with small responsibilities

We sometimes think of independence as a big, abstract quality. In reality, it is built through very simple actions. For example:

1. At first: “Put your things in your bag.”
2. Gradually: “What do you need to check before you leave?”
3. Then: “Look at your list and check you have everything.”

The adult is still there. But the responsibility gradually shifts to the child. It is this shift that matters.

Learning to ask for help is part of independence too

This may sound paradoxical. Yet a child who refuses all help is not necessarily independent. They may simply be stuck.

Independence also means being able to recognise: “I can carry on by myself”, or: “Here, I need an explanation.”

This distinction is valuable. The aim is not never to ask for help. The aim is to know when and how to ask for help.

A child who says “I don’t understand the instructions, but I’ve already tried this method” has already come part of the way towards independence.

What if the child gets it wrong?

This is where independence connects directly with active learning.

A child who always has to get the right answer first time risks becoming dependent on the adult’s approval. If, on the other hand, a mistake can be a normal step in the work, the child can learn to:

1. try;
2. look at the result;
3. identify what isn’t working;
4. change their approach;
5. try again.

This ability is extremely important. Because in real life, problems don’t come with a sheet saying “Here is the exact method you must apply”. You often have to search. Test. Get it wrong. Start again. That is what problem-solving is all about.

Independence and confidence are linked

A child who always succeeds because an adult guided them at every step can get good results without developing much independence.

Conversely, a child who is constantly told to manage alone can lose confidence if they do not yet have the tools they need.

So a balance has to be found. Enough help to make success possible. Enough space to allow initiative.

It is a fine line. And it shifts with age, skills and the situation.

Not all children become independent at the same time

As with schoolwork, there are big differences between children. Some will spontaneously:

• start an activity;
• look for a solution;
• organise their things;
• ask precise questions.

Others will need more reminders. That does not necessarily mean they are less capable. They may simply need more opportunities to practise these skills.

Independence is itself something to be learned.

Can a school really teach independence?

Yes, but it has to make it happen.

You don’t become independent by listening to an adult say: “Today we are going to learn to be independent.” The child needs real opportunities to take initiative. For example:

• choosing between several methods;
• organising part of a project;
• looking for information;
• preparing a presentation;
• working in a small group;
• checking their own work;
• managing some of their materials;
• gradually taking on responsibilities.

Independence shows up in action.

Projects can be particularly valuable

Take a simple project. The children have to prepare a presentation about an animal. They need to:

1. choose, or be given, a topic;
2. look for information;
3. select what is relevant;
4. organise their ideas;
5. prepare their presentation;
6. give it;
7. answer questions.

The teacher remains essential. They support. They structure. They correct when needed. But they don’t have to provide every step.

The child gradually has to learn to manage part of the process. This is exactly the kind of situation in which independence becomes concrete.

Independence must not become a new pressure

There is, however, a trap.

By talking so much about independence, we can end up asking very young children to be independent in everything. “Sort it out yourself.” “You’re a big boy now.” “You should be able to do it alone.”

That is not necessarily independence. Sometimes it is simply too much to ask of the child at that moment.

Support must therefore change gradually. A simple progression can help:

1. I do it with you.
2. We do it together.
3. You do it, I stay nearby.
4. You can do it on your own.

The aim is to gradually withdraw help as the child needs it less.

How can you tell whether a school really develops independence?

Don’t just ask “Do you develop independence?”. Almost every school will say yes. Ask concrete questions instead:

• “What does a child of this age do on their own at your school?”
• “What do you do when a child immediately asks for the answer?”
• “How do you teach children to check their work?”
• “What part do children play in organising projects?”
• “What happens when a child doesn’t know how to start?”
• “Can you give me an example of an independence skill that develops between the start and the end of the year?”

You will probably get far more interesting answers.

And where do small classes come in?

Small groups can make independence easier to develop for a fairly simple reason: the adult can see more clearly who needs help and who can try alone.

In a large group, it can be tempting to step in quickly to keep things moving. In a smaller group, the teacher can sometimes give the child more time to search.

But once again, small class size is not enough on its own. It creates an opportunity. The teaching then has to make use of it. See Why can small classes change the way a child learns?

Independence matters particularly in active learning

In active learning, the child is not just faced with a succession of facts to memorise. They may be asked to:

• search;
• experiment;
• solve;
• build;
• explain;
• cooperate;
• make choices;
• present their results.

All these activities gradually call for more initiative. Independence therefore becomes a natural result of the learning process.

The child does not do “more things alone” for the sake of it. They learn to take a gradually larger share of their own learning.

Independence in a bilingual school

Bilingualism also offers interesting opportunities to develop independence.

A child may find themselves in a situation where they don’t immediately know a word. They can:

• use the context;
• watch the others;
• ask for an explanation;
• rephrase;
• look for a word;
• try anyway.

They then learn something very important: not understanding straight away does not mean being unable to act.

That attitude is valuable far beyond languages.

At Da Vinci Private School

At Da Vinci Private School, independence is part of a wider whole: active learning, small groups and individual support.

The aim is not to leave children alone with their learning. On the contrary, it is to support them enough that they can gradually take on more responsibility.

A child must be able to get help when they need it. But they must also have chances to search before asking, to do before being corrected and to think before receiving the answer.

Because school is not only about the child succeeding in today’s exercise. It is also about gradually becoming able to tackle tomorrow’s problem.

How can parents develop independence at home?

School is obviously not solely responsible. At home too, small habits can make a real difference.

Instead of immediately doing things for your child, sometimes try asking:

• “What could you try?”
• “What do you need?”
• “Where could you find the answer?”
• “What have you already tried?”
• “Do you want me to help you get started, or do you want to try a bit longer?”

These are small questions. But they gradually change the child’s position. They no longer always wait for a solution. They start to search.

So what is an independent child?

It is not the one who needs nobody. It is not the one who always succeeds alone. It is not the one who never makes a mistake.

It is the one who is gradually able to tell themselves: “I don’t know yet, but I can try.”

That sentence perhaps sums up independence better than any definition. Because it contains at once:

• confidence;
• curiosity;
• initiative;
• the right to make mistakes;
• the ability to ask for help;
• and the desire to progress.

Key points

Independence at school is not about removing adult help. It is about changing that help over time.

At first, the adult shows. Then they support. Then they ask questions. Then they leave more room. Until the child can begin to act alone.

So the goal is not “My child must be able to do everything alone”, but rather: “My child must gradually learn that they are able to try, think, make mistakes, ask for help and find a solution.”

It is a school skill. But above all, it is a skill for life.